As early as toddler years, children are capable of comprehending things that you first think might overwhelm them. From their favorite TV shows, images that they see from their favorite book up to the least word you speak in front of them, each will surely have an effect in their minds. So if you are really serious of letting them get used with good values, then start to do such, when they reach 1 year old.
But how are you as a parent will do it? CONSISTENCY is the best policy. Honestly, to be consistent is a huge thing that not all people can handle. But as a role model for our children, why should we refuse to become one? Below are some bad effects that I researched and sometimes experienced just because I did not let my rules take over my child.
(1) THE CHILD MAY MANIPULATE YOU, INSTEAD OF YOU, MANIPULATING YOUR CHILD.
Remember what we have always read about the babies' non-stop crying so you will take them up from their bed? It is similar with the scenario whenever you teach good values to them.
EXPERIENCE: From the time she learned to eat on her own, I have always encouraged her to do so. But there are days when she has to finish fast because I worry of the chores I need to accomplish for the day. Sometimes, I make her eat and sometimes I get mad if she doesn't eat alone. After a couple of weeks getting used to that situation, I just heard her said to me one day: "Mom can you make me eat because you can do it di ba (isn't it)? So I'll finish fast. If I eat all by myself, I finish slow"
EFFECT: Instead of teaching her how to be independent, she just relies to me over and over again.
(2) THEY CAN HAVE THE CHOICE OF EITHER FOLLOWING YOU OR NOT
Words of command often come along with the scary condition if the child will not follow. This gives the child the option: "Is mommy or daddy going to do it? Let me try."
EXPERIENCE: I was annoyed one time, when i saw my daughter not sharing her toys with her friends. And so I shout: "Aisha, if you will not share toys with your playmates then let's just throw it away." I got her and she shared her toys immediately. The next time, I said the same words again but she refused to follow, maybe because she really wanted to play with that toy she was holding. I just ignored her even though she did not let her playmate hold her toy, the entire playtime. Again with the same words and scenario, I caught her. This time, I heard a new statement from her to her playmate: "You know, my mom just told me she will throw my toys but look, I still have my toys, di ba (isn't it)? You can have it if she shouts at me."
EFFECT: Able to teach the value of sharing? I don't think so. What she has learned is how to be bossy at her playmates especially if its her toys they are playing with.
(3) YOU'LL BE CAUGHT UP WITH OTHER PEOPLE LAUGHING AS YOU ALL HEAR YOUR CHILD TEACH YOU THE GOOD VALUES
Although it is us who have always taught them the good values, we sometimes forget to practice it in front of them.
EXPERIENCE: I asked my daughter to hand me her toy one time, while we were packing her toys together. She immediately gave me the toy and I got it. Without me knowing, she was waiting for me to say thank you to her. I just knew when she told me: "Mommy, say thank you to me. I will not give it to you next time."
EFFECT: Have I been successful in teaching her the value of acknowledging others' effort for you? I'm not quite sure and she might not be encouraged to offer help to somebody else anymore.
We all serve as the role model of our children. How can they see the goodness of each thing that we teach if we ourselves, fail to do them sometimes? And if they can see that we are not practicing each good value all the time, what can make them follow us?
always happy to help,
CESCA
But how are you as a parent will do it? CONSISTENCY is the best policy. Honestly, to be consistent is a huge thing that not all people can handle. But as a role model for our children, why should we refuse to become one? Below are some bad effects that I researched and sometimes experienced just because I did not let my rules take over my child.
(1) THE CHILD MAY MANIPULATE YOU, INSTEAD OF YOU, MANIPULATING YOUR CHILD.
Remember what we have always read about the babies' non-stop crying so you will take them up from their bed? It is similar with the scenario whenever you teach good values to them.
EXPERIENCE: From the time she learned to eat on her own, I have always encouraged her to do so. But there are days when she has to finish fast because I worry of the chores I need to accomplish for the day. Sometimes, I make her eat and sometimes I get mad if she doesn't eat alone. After a couple of weeks getting used to that situation, I just heard her said to me one day: "Mom can you make me eat because you can do it di ba (isn't it)? So I'll finish fast. If I eat all by myself, I finish slow"
EFFECT: Instead of teaching her how to be independent, she just relies to me over and over again.
(2) THEY CAN HAVE THE CHOICE OF EITHER FOLLOWING YOU OR NOT
Words of command often come along with the scary condition if the child will not follow. This gives the child the option: "Is mommy or daddy going to do it? Let me try."
EXPERIENCE: I was annoyed one time, when i saw my daughter not sharing her toys with her friends. And so I shout: "Aisha, if you will not share toys with your playmates then let's just throw it away." I got her and she shared her toys immediately. The next time, I said the same words again but she refused to follow, maybe because she really wanted to play with that toy she was holding. I just ignored her even though she did not let her playmate hold her toy, the entire playtime. Again with the same words and scenario, I caught her. This time, I heard a new statement from her to her playmate: "You know, my mom just told me she will throw my toys but look, I still have my toys, di ba (isn't it)? You can have it if she shouts at me."
EFFECT: Able to teach the value of sharing? I don't think so. What she has learned is how to be bossy at her playmates especially if its her toys they are playing with.
(3) YOU'LL BE CAUGHT UP WITH OTHER PEOPLE LAUGHING AS YOU ALL HEAR YOUR CHILD TEACH YOU THE GOOD VALUES
Although it is us who have always taught them the good values, we sometimes forget to practice it in front of them.
EXPERIENCE: I asked my daughter to hand me her toy one time, while we were packing her toys together. She immediately gave me the toy and I got it. Without me knowing, she was waiting for me to say thank you to her. I just knew when she told me: "Mommy, say thank you to me. I will not give it to you next time."
EFFECT: Have I been successful in teaching her the value of acknowledging others' effort for you? I'm not quite sure and she might not be encouraged to offer help to somebody else anymore.
We all serve as the role model of our children. How can they see the goodness of each thing that we teach if we ourselves, fail to do them sometimes? And if they can see that we are not practicing each good value all the time, what can make them follow us?
always happy to help,
CESCA